Making the unreadable impenetrable.

Rachel has a great screed from Steven Weber, possibly one of the most blatant examples of somebody being in love with their own vocabulary I've ever read. Just for fun, I thought I'd improve it a bit - original for comparison above at the link, and here's the "new & improved" Engrish version, after a few trips through Altavista's Babelfish. :)

The fact that has a similar integrity of America, the zelf gestileerde flag of the modern, developed and civilized liberty, offers even the person for with its nadir qualified (from note it the lyric poem to take involuntarily, which fulfills with passion me unselfishly within the public range) to carry out to help the absurdity of a similar effort to say, is tragic incontrovertibly, would be understatement on the carried out instruction "of the task", lost. Already rather the service at its country salts, by it with a safe distance of the large presidency bellcrank, which prefers to make more effectively in the place the time to change over and with much more reliability than private citizen restantrestant. And which it could show? A in such a way copied position became it that no genuine would think statesperson with a value of its salted replacement one day, which lives in the oval building. Now the fact that gremlins it will leave boogers below each Romanesque which has failure this hallways from the highest yard brings, and they stink with the each alteration worthlessly that the individual liberty the efforts remettantse, those and been the list flea of state in the conventional change of the guard, i.e., (choice) the potus rows shift only under a judge for "the received talent America guaranteed appearing!". However: What as, to reroute even in presence it this complicit into the American bush and still the sport it smug rictuses, still the vagabond below waanidee of one globusamericana still clasps itself it, which intimidate tactics, still smug the witnesses at the collapses in new Orleans carries Afghanistan and Iraq, and which cannot see their own inadequacy yet underneath the eyes... What as, despite the failure years under a republican controlled congress; despite the failure of the channel of programs enlaidis Orwellian, when a child does not leave behind and clear hemelen; despite the rope of the degradations, which implies boisterously, paragons republican of the virtue and the ethics, which becomes imprisoned with their portfolios and its trousers; despite and the monumental laehmt delocalisering the American jobs; despite the accumulation, which leaves cases crony doorzeefde debt under it from modern of this politics; despite the obvious oorlogswoekerhandel: despite the handling of our more expensive constitutional warranties; to earn despite the enemy jet from wereld withered to, how this is still explained to him for another poging? From side of the stage in the form, the income and the ground floor he ' D has its hand high point. He ' D must burn middernachtethylalcohol and with the lemonade of the bitterest lemon party this nation make, those for what is seen the time. He ' D occupied hopes world-wide on its shoulders. He ' D is 24 hours per day in crosshairs the section of Swiftboat of Blackwater, an attack, which would make the shocks and Awe, examines Mentos as morserij from Pepsi a concession. And it even sticks to know well none that the high point the policy of the bush and its treuen/goosesteppers apologistslegion up to them to prevent it it us completely approximately the firm high point dégringolé, and well knowing that strongly you Wanna As a beer with us slipped gi-normous Mickey Finnish and during our visieonduidelijke pictures our bags turns of, which are opening falltuer in the back to press ours, and to the point ours did not know the action at the center largely already only. And at this time the American myth can leave reinvigorated and is again to revive. And hope could again be ignited. And the nation, which is rejected by the Verteilersmirking, could together announced by uniter natures met. And America could do that, its, which it was once and must be so much again. If, over to heat global - it is the time goes. To know from Whattaya to?