Two bits of awesome

Two things happened simultaneously.

I read this post. That is the funniest thing I've seen in AGES.

As I was recovering from the hilarity, I looked over and saw the Little Pirate in the baby swing we just got for him, snoozing away. Snuggles (one of the cats) walked up with a very concerned look on his face, and tried to look into the swing as it was going down, but he misjudged it and got smacked in the face when it came back up....and ran away. It was great.

Things that make me stabby

I heard a word the other day that immediately pushed me past the point of sensible reaction, and into the realm of wanting to pull somebody's eyeballs out through their rectal cavity. That might sound like an overreaction, but bear with me.

"Staycation"

The word is billed as a combination of "stay" and "vacation" implying that you're taking a vacation and staying in one place, but in fact is neither word. The biggest problem I have with words like this, which according to the Wikipedia entry are called a portmanteau is that they're not particularly clever and have a strong tendency to be used to imply that the person using them is.

A fine example of this at work is the suffix "-gate" applied to anything that the breathless press claims is the latest Really Big Scandal. (If you're like me and can't stand this phenomenon, for God's sake don't go here.) When did it become okay to take two perfectly good, and often descriptive, words and mash them together? You can't come up with a word or phrase that adequately describes what you're talking about, so you have to make one up? For God's sake, the latest copy of my Webster's Dictionary is four inches thick. In all of that, there simply must already be the perfect word you need....and if not, we're speaking English! Borrow a word from another language if you have to.

Quit making bastardized, incomprehensible amalgamations and use English like everybody else, or I may have to sic the Grammar Nazi on you.

Obama campaign in violation of CAN-SPAM

I've blogged about this a couple of times, but I finally got pushed past my limit when yet another Obama campaign email begging for money got past my spam filter - this time, it was sent from the Oregon Obama Campaign, so it wasn't pre-flagged. I sent them back this:

I have asked that my email address be removed from your mailing list
twice now; once with an email directly to the campaign from the website, and
once through the "unsubscribe" option that is required to be at the bottom of
all bulk email. I am not a supporter of your candidate, and the only
contact I sent your candidate in the first place was a complaint about your
campaign's use of the Fallen Police Officer's Memorial as a location for the
event's portable toilets.

Your campaign is now in violation of 15 USC 7701 et seq, which final rule took effect 7/7/2008. The first request I sent demanding that you remove me from your mailing list was over ten days ago. You are hereby informed that this matter has been forwarded to the Federal Trade Commission.

This particular email came from a fellow by the name of Rob Hill, who is apparently the director of the Oregon Obama campaign. Here's a copy of my complaint to the FTC, and their response:

I contacted Mr. Obama's campaign to complain about the campaign's
conduct in Oregon, via the complaint form on the campaign's website.
Nowhere on the contact form does it imply or state that email addresses given
will be used in a flood of requests for donations, support, volunteer work, et
al.

Since my complaint on 6/10/08, the campaign has contacted me
eighteen times, despite my request twice to remove me from their mailing
list. The first time, I did so via the contact form on the campaign's
website; this was on 6/15/08. The second time, I followed the link from
one of the campaign's emails, being very clear that I do not want to receive
their mail and never did.

The campaign continues to email me, from a variety of email addresses so that my spam filter does not catch all of it. It is time consuming, offensive, and irritating to deal with. In addition to the above named representatives, I have received sender information from the following persons:
Barack Obama
Al Gore
David Plouffe
Jon Carson
Steve Hildebrand

We have received your complaint. Thank you for contacting the FTC. Your complaint has been entered into Consumer Sentinel, a secure online database
available to thousands of civil and criminal law enforcement agencies worldwide.
Your reference number is: 19530136

Of Poo and Parenting

My son was less than a full day old when he demonstrated the bare essence to me of what boys are all about. Red and I were giving him a bath (the one right before the picture in the last post, in fact), and Red had put a washcloth across his boy business. I didn't realize immediately that she knew something I didn't, that being that it was not for sanitation, but for protection. I moved the washcloth, intending to scrub down his legs, and before Red could warn me, he whizzed all down the front of me from about 2' away. I was amazed.

And then there was yesterday, the Little Pirate's first day home. He'd had a messy diaper, and I was changing him. I'd gotten just to the point of hoisting feet in the air and cleaning off the butt with a wipe, and with the sort of loud irreverent noise that most teen boys congratulate one another for, he hosed a cone area to my right with a scattershot of flying poo. I was astounded, not just because of the volume, but the pressure. I've got to get him one of these if they still have them in baby sizes.

Red and I took the Little Pirate to see the pediatrician for a weight check this morning, and while in the car on the way, we had a very calm, rational discussion that went something like this:

"I'm hungry."
"Are you? You want to stop & get a latte or something before we get back to the house?"
"Yeah. Oh, hey, don't let me forget to ask the pediatrician when we're in there about the diarrhea (Little Pirate) has been having. I'm wondering if that's why he'd had that weight loss, he seems really gassy."
"Well, when you changed him this morning, was it dark greenish/black, or was it a mustard brownish-yellow? If it's a kind of yellow color, that's just him adjusting to eating breast milk."
"Oh, okay. Oh, here's the coffee stand."
-=laughing=- "You realize you're now officially a parent, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, we just talked about getting something to eat and the color and composition of poop in the same conversation,...and you didn't even blink. Congrats, Dad."
"I'm totally blogging that."

End of a long day

Here's my little guy, having had his second bath of the day, a good solid meal, and nice warm Mommy to lie next to. He's been conked out like this most of the day, actually.

World, meet baby. Baby, meet world

I'll have more either later this evening or tomorrow - most of the rest of the photos I've taken so far of the little guy are of him bare-ass nekkid, and nobody needs to see that. :)

This was taken this morning, just after the nurses had cleaned him off a bit. He hadn't been measured, had vitals taken (beyond the first check-everything battery they do), had his first bath or meal yet; they put him in Red's arms for a snack and this was one of the few close-ups I took right then. More to come!

Incoming!!!!

About an hour ago, the doc came in and broke Red's water. She now has her epidural in, and we're watching her contractions slowly ramp up - he should be arriving within the next several hours. Stay tuned....we'll be right back after these messages.

Edit: 1:45 AM 7/8/08 He's here! 8 lbs 14 oz, and 20 1/2 " long. I'll post photos later after family's had a chance to meet him. :)

Back and forth, redux

There aren't many things that will wake me up out of a dead sleep - I sleep really deeply most of the time and I usually wake up very slowly. Snooze alarms are usually a 3-time affair, and the less said about midnight runs for Taco Bell the better.

So far, things I've found that will immediately wake me to full awareness include:

1) Bare kid feet on carpet trying to sneak into our bedroom.
2) One of the cats (Snuggles, usually) pawing at the window wanting in.
3) The sound of a weight-bearing foot sliding off the carpeted stair, followed by a -=whump=- and whimper of pain.

The last was what awoke me this morning. I knew immediately who it was, too, since Red wasn't in bed, and mindful of the fact that her "official" due date is TOMORROW, this was obviously a Very Bad Thing. I got her to the hospital, of course - the doc is keeping her for a minimum of four hours, and since she's having contractions and is dilated at 4, they may just decide to get this show on the road.

One can hope, I suppose. Updates to follow!

Edit: 10:20 AM - all seems well; she's uncomfortable and sore from the tumble, but she and the Podling are both okay.

Edit: 11:30 AM - Doc is here, they're admitting her for a few more hours, and we'll be moving to a room with a jacuzzi. :)

Edit: 12:50 PM - Okay, I'm not going to keep doing hourly updates here, so don't get too excited. She's being admitted overnight, however, and they're prepping for delivery - the room we're in now is all set up for it, and she just got in the tub with a big "AAAAAHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....." of relief.

heh

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Since I can't improve on it...

I'll just link to it. Happy 4th of July.

Keeping it classy

I posted a while back about Obama's campaign gaffe in Portland. I got a response, of course, as I noted, and thought little more of it - I figure their campaign gets a flood of complaints every time Obama or one of his minions puts a foot in the campaign's mouth, and the way his campaign's been going, I'd bet there's rather a lot of it.

Anyway, so I didn't really complain when I started getting spam from Obama's campaign. I don't really give a rip about Al Gore's endorsement, the incessant pleading of the campaign to "help us beat John McCain" with a hand out every time, and the Very Important Announcements of the campaign that the media rushes to get out there every time the guy opens his mouth. I used my Yahoo throwaway email address for it; Yahoo has an excellent spam filter already, and I dutifully flagged every email that made it through as spam, consigning it to the trash bin with the Nigerian money movers and penis enlargement offers.

Wednesday morning, though, I got this:

Dear WG --

Tonight is the crucial financial reporting deadline for June. Right now is the time to step up and own a piece of this campaign. I need your help to take on John McCain, the Republican National Committee, and the shady so-called 527 groups that are dedicated to attacking this campaign using millions of dollars in unregulated contributions. Please support this movement by making a donation of $25 by Midnight tonight: https://donate.barackobama.com/deadlinejune

Together we are setting a new standard for how presidential campaigns will be
organized and funded. For the first time in a generation, a presidential
campaign is putting staff in every single state for the general election. Our
staff and the Obama Organizing Fellows are getting to work right now to build on
grassroots energy in all 50 states. And -- unlike John McCain -- we're going to
do it without contributions from Washington lobbyists and special interest PACs
that have held too much power for far too long in this country.

By putting our organizational and financial future in your hands, it's clear who will be responsible for our success and who we will be accountable to in the White
House: the people. But in order to match the resources of our opponents, we're
going to have to do more and get more people involved than ever before. Your
donation of $25 right now will help make that happen: https://donate.barackobama.com/deadlinejune

I'm counting on you to take the lead and build this campaign. The stakes couldn't be higher, and every American who hopes for something better from their government is counting on us.

Thank you, Barack

I was annoyed. For one thing, as I recall, the "so called 527 groups" were a loophole made for lobbyists largely because in 2002, the McCain-Feingold act closed all of the others, leaving this one because the Democrats in Congress screamed about it. Before 2002, of course, it wasn't an issue since candidates could spend soft money any way they wanted to.

There is a world of difference between groups like the Swift Boaters and groups like MoveOn (which, to be fair, is no longer a 527, citing "new politics from the Obama campaign - the cynical part of me wants to see this as a strong message from the Obama camp that MoveOn has become a liability, not an asset). For one thing, although the Swift Boat Veterans were largely credited with torpedoing Kerry's campaign in 2004 (to make an apropros pun), they were formed for the express purpose of addressing the deficiencies of one candidate for one office. MoveOn was formed in 1997 as a response to the Clinton impeachment proceedings, has been a major player in every election from then until now, and is largely credited with the 2006 Democrat takeover of Congress.

Disavowing 527's is probably a good move, and it's one shared by both candidates; McCain has been very critical of them in the past, and remains so today - he was one of the few prominent Republican senators on the sidelines in 2004 that was openly and vocally critical of the Swift Boat Veterans.

No, it's the characterization of Obama's campaign as being "different", the constant drumbeat of "hope" and "change" that offends me. His campaign is playing no less dirty than any other political election in the history of this country, and to paraphrase a famous quotation, those with respect for politics and sausages should never watch either being produced. I realize that's his platform, and it's a pretty good choice considering that he manages to pivot on just about every issue the campaign comes up with, but still....

Anyway, I decided to try unenrolling - went to the Obama site, wrote a complaint, asked to be disenrolled from their mailing list. why they put me on the mailing list in the first place is beyond me, considering my only contact with the campaign was a complaint about their conduct. How that translates into my being a supporter....whatever.

So I went to check my mail, seeing that there's more spam in there, and guess what? More Obama mail! I'll try disenrolling again in a few days and make it clear that the campaign is now in violation of the federal statutes on unsolicited bulk email.

The more I see of Obama, the less I like

Okay, I'll grant you that the guy isn't personally responsible for everything done in the areas he represents in Congress. I think it'd be fair to say that he's probably going to be pretty blindsided by this one, although in my opinion a presidential candidate should be well aware of all of his own dirty laundry.

That being said, he does bear a significant amount of responsibility for the flow of money and policies that created this. There are photos here.

This kind of wasteful, willful neglect makes me ill on a level that's hard to really put into words.

Back and forth

Okay, I promised I'd post baby updates, so for those of you that have asked (being aware when Red's due date is...), here 'tis.

No baby yet.

Tuesday evening, she ate a hamburger, and evidently something about it wasn't good, because I took her in to the hospital yesterday morning with extreme nausea and abdominal cramping. We got as far as the Labor & Delivery triage room before the puking started. The attending physician decided to admit her for 24-hr observation after they realized how dehydrated she was quickly getting (9mo pregnant + dehydration = bad juju).

Anyway, she's feeling better-ish this morning, and although the doctors said it was close enough to her due date that they'd just kinda push things along if she could get going, of course he's being contrary and is happily sitting in there. I did get to see his little face yesterday - they were afraid Red had a problem with her gall bladder, so they did an ultrasound and were good enough to take a look at the Podling while they were at it. He has his mother's nose and the fattest little cheeks you ever saw.

Good time at the beach

Poor Misti is from Arizona, and left 116 F weather to come shoot with me in Oregon. It was nice out there....70-75 F or so, which was great for me. She was freezing.

All the same, I got a message from her earlier today saying she'd landed a job at home from my photos! How cool is that?