Like any red-blooded American male in his 30's, I like burgers. Cheeseburgers are a particular favorite, and the toppings may vary from avocados to yogurt. Variety is good....generally.
So imagine my reaction, if you will, when Red found this for me and pointed it out. My first reaction, naturally, was something along the lines of Dear God in heaven, who thought THAT was a good idea???? Moments later, I have to admit, I also thought I wonder how it tastes?
I was a band geek in high-school. My best friend (I'll call him Charger Driver) and I both played trombone, and his capacity for food was legendary. Mind you, now he's a cop and is, physically, quite a bit bigger than I am - he wrestles evildoers into submission, and I type, so it's not suprising. In high school, however, he weighed maybe 100 lbs soaking wet and carrying a pair of barbells. He redefined "skinny little white boy," even though he could consume more food in a sitting than any three other people I know put together, and if you'd ever seen some of my college buddies, you'd understand why that's really saying something.
One fine band trip, Charger Driver and I were convinced we were starving, having ridden in the middle of a smelly bus full of other teens for four hours and having finished the large bag of chips he'd brought with him within about 20 minutes of beginning the trip. At last, we stopped for food. Pretty much everybody went in the direction of the Burger King, Taco Bell, and other assorted such places, but just a bit further away was a McDonald's, and under those heavenly arches was a signboard proclaiming that "QUARTER POUNDERS W/CHEESE $1". He looked at me. I looked at him. Nothing further needed to be said, other than pooling the money the two of us had on us and bolting to be first there.
In we went, discovering that we had between us $17. We walked up to the counter, and ordered 11 Quarter Pounders with Cheese, four large $1 fries, and two $1 Cokes. The pimply-faced girl with braces behind the counter looked at the two skinny boys standing in front of her, dumbfounded, and then kept looking nervously at the doors, expecting either another group of kids to come in, or probably us to leap over the counter and begin chewing on her leather shoes. Of course, we did neither, but we did take the three trays of food they produced back to a table, and began to eat with a gusto that can only really be described in terms of industrial ore-processing machinery. I ate three of those Quarter Pounders, one Coke, and one of the large fries. Charger Driver ate the rest.
All of it.
So when I say I found a burger that I think could even satisfy him in one go, you know it's going to be something fairly impressive.
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4 comments:
I was a band geek too. Thanks so much for reminding me of the long-forgotten odors of those bus rides.
In addition to my two boys, the three across the street loved to eat and hang out at my house. (I learned later this was because goat's milk and other more unusual items were cooked up by their stay-at-home Dad.)
One summer, we had a teenaged guest (I feared he'd become a permanent fixture) and I thought we'd go broke before those six boys ever got full. I figured $$$ was at least one reason why the parents of the "guest" were so willing to have him "stay" with us.
I have daughters too, and they and their friends weren't shy about chowing down either.
I sort of miss those days; there's nothing like having a houseful of teenagers to make life interesting.
Okay, I have to admit I'm curious about how that tastes, too.
Your story reminds me of the movie Kumar and (??) Go to Whitecastle.
It probably tastes gross but yes, I would like to try it too ;-)
FYI - It was "Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle" and it was a very funny movie.
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