You know how there's usually that one guy around the office that's irritating in general? Him, you know, the guy chomping down a sandwich or a mouthful of Cheetos while trying to explain something technical to another coworker that has absolutely no interest beyond resolving their problem, whatever it is.
I was talking to one of my friends at work today, when that dude went trundling past. She and I were talking quietly - obviously a private conversation, or at least one would have thought it was. I'd just been asked the usual question I get 'round the office these days, which was a variant of "So do you have names picked out?". ON HIS WAY PAST, he spun (impressive, considering the bulk one develops from a career of sandwich and Cheeto-munching) around and asked, "You havin' a BABY?". I totally wanted to deadpan it, saying no, one of my cats is having kittens and I'm planning which ones end up in the soup later tonight, or something similar, but I restrained the impulse, smiled, and said, "Yep. Me!"
He didn't ask how it was possible I was pregnant, but that's probably just as well. I doubt I could have restrained myself a second time.
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